General


Linda W… a name I was born into….

58 years old and searching for the why’s and wherefores that give meaning to breathing. As I walk this path to become fully awakened there will be things posted that seem to be something more than thoughts… be advised that they are not.

no mistruths.. no confessions… no finger pointing… just the day to day stuff that runs thru my head. (except the twinkini post.. that was to get a free copy of the software ;-) )

Life is a learning process, some learn easily, some get confused.. I am just attempting to see it clearly.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled blogpost…




Ottmar & Jon

Originally uploaded by Linda W

one day I will write a full review of the Ottmar Liebert + Luna Negra show at the Lensic in Santa Fe… the concert was spectacular! There was one bit, just after intermission that ottmar took the stage alone

he played.. I did not recognize.. and it was like becoming one with the room, the guitar, with thoughts and feelings put into the playing.

this is being awake…

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water.20Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation=2 0around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee…You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

** author unknown***

today has been a long one, no internet to speak of, little applications on new phone not connecting.. no network apps on blackberry are connecting at all, I suspect that there is a problem again, but oh well. I am tired of dealing with this blackberry and long to be rid of it. I have to carry “email and web” as long as I have a blackberry phone, even if the service isn’t working… the people that fix that service are pretty much inept.

today I went to check my mail and was presented with a very large package. The sender was Euro-Pro. They have apparently sent me a replacement for the vacuum that only had a clog. I had been able to resolve the issue while on the phone with a support agent but the company sent me a replacement. There is no documentation with it other than the standard stuff that is shipped in the box with the cleaner.

waiting for the storm to renew its efforts tonight, I am liking what has been going on this week, sun, rain and a light show daily!

in my effort to streamline finances I have opted to change from Qwest DLS to Comcast. This should not only make my bills lower, it should increase speed. IT took 6 weeks for Comcast to realize that I do live right next door to another customer, therefore my address must exist.

Last saturday morning after waiting 2 weeks for a connection date my technician arrived 2 hours early to install only to discover that the maintenance man opened the wrong communications room. He was also not home so the install had to be rescheduled. BLAH I say! they rescheduled it for june 2nd.

This should not in itself be bad, however I had also arrange with Qwest to disconnect the DSL today. They did, with percision and perfection.. leaving my internet dead in the water.

I called up my trusty Verizon Wireless. and within minutes was connected via a tethered Blackberry. I have 5 GB and a month free, but I will only need a week.

so I count the bytes… (and chew them 30 times) ;-)




dunk

Originally uploaded by Linda W

he is part of nature.
he is the trees, the grass, the stars.
he is the daffodils blooming on the hillside.
he is the breeze that swept my face this morning.

where ever you are Boo kitty, i miss you.

Young love touches time and sighs
requests her secrets with bright eyes
time looks at love…… and then replies
“you dont know who I am”

“I’ve been round very long, it’s true”
(time thinks about when things were new)
“and all my life…. I’ve looked for you”
time gently takes loves hand

love urges time to take a chance
throughout the night they talk and dance
time gives in……to sweet romance
time smiles as love moves near

time gathers love in her embrace
and gazing at his childlike face
transports love to a distant place
where he has never been

time takes his heart with just a kiss
she takes away love’s innocence
he leaves her……..more experienced
and time moves on alone

copyright Linda West 1995

I have some issues with you right now that I would like to hash out. And now is as good a time as any with you laying over my arms while I am trying to type on the computer. You don’t even look comfortable and you can’t breathe lying like that with your butt higher up than your head but your brain is the size of a walnut so I will forgive you.
First of all, the litterbox. Is it your goal to poop on the rim of the box? Because if it is, bravo! Mission accomplished, you can stop now. You have proved your point. It is not funny anymore, and I have run out of sticks in the yard to clean it off with. The box is big enough, and you are still small, so don’t even go there.
Now… making pointless, incessant noises. If I take something away from you because I am tired of hearing it scoot across the floor for the last 2 hours, it does not mean to go find something else to mess with. I mean really where do you find this stuff? A wad of paper? A bottle cap? Is that really that fun to play with?
I put things on the coffee table because I want them there. I do not want you to knock EVERYTHING off of the coffee table in one of your mindless “tearing ass through the house for no reason” adventures every single day. Once in a while, it is amusing. Every day, it’s not that funny.
Your ass stinks. I mean REALLY stinks. Like the worst poop you’ve ever smelled. Why do you smell soooo horrible? I thought cats were clean! I have never experienced this smelly, stinky cat phenomena with any other cat on this Earth. Why, God, did you give me the most stinky cat in this solar system? And Cat, why do you insist on showing me your ass? I know it stinks, but what am I supposed to do about it? Bathe you??? LOL! Remember the last time that happened? I still have the scars… Also, when you sit on my arm, please have the kindness to put your tail over your butthole so it doesn’t come into contact with my skin. I might catch something.
Lastly, I am allergic to you. I know this isn’t your fault, but knowing this, why do you insist on rubbing the whole length of your body on my face? Okay… I just pulled a CATHAIR out of my eye. No wonder my eyes are itchy if you are purposefully depositing your dander into my eyes! What are you trying to prove here? That you know I’m stuck with you? While you’re busy carrying things about the house in your mouth to deposit them into some area that I haven’t discovered yet- would you mind bringing me a peice of sandpaper to me so that I can alleviate the itching you’ve caused me? Oh- while we’re on this subject, I need my hair ties back- I know you have them. Thanks.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/616864088.html

after my “interesting” and very zoo-like Christmas and Thanksgiving weekends I am waiting for the call to move into a very nice apartment complex that is brand new.

Its called Tres Santos de Santa Fe… or the 3 saints. The complex sits between San Mateo, St Michaels & St. Francis streets.. hence the 3 saints and is a 55+ complex that was opened last October. I was referred there by a gentleman I call K-Mart Dave. He is the appliance manager at the local KMART store.

My distress with my current living situation was discovered soon after my arrival in Santa Fe, and has reached a point that I will not find peace in this place until I move. Tres Santos is a perfect solution for me as it comes with a free month’s rent and is close enough to work that I can walk.. I will also be able to catch up my current rental obligation with Janice, my “now” roommate. I hope to be moving in this weekend…

Meditation Wednesday night was incredible… peace, quiet and a horrible ringing in my ears… I sat in 20 minute stints.. then did walking meditation.. following the nice lady that sat beside me. (she had a real familiar look) We went thru this for almost 2 hours.. alternating sitting and walking. at the end we all chanted the Verse of Atonement in Japanese and English… and fell back to meditation … as I was counting my breaths the bell started ringing.. it’s resonance vibrated thru my body… it was the most incredible thing I have ever felt..

When it ended.. 108 chimes later… Roshi spoke..

we all filed out of the zendo… pausing to wish Roshi Joan a HNY… then we went to River house. circled around the table and said a little blessing for our meal.. then we each in turn stated our name.. and our affirmation for the year.. it was then that I learned who I had sat next to for 2 hours.. it was Jane….. Henry Fonda’s daughter :)

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